We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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