Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
