Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
