he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize