Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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