Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize