You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
