the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
