Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
