Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
