Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
