my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
