Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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