i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
