Nicole vs. Life
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
