I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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