You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
