i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
MIDGETS
????
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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