Will you blow on my dice?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
