i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
