Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Someone signed my nipple.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
