who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
