your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
