three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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