I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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