Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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