I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My penis needs a shock collar
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
