Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
