Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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