So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize