You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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