i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
