Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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