i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize