please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize