Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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