I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
