I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
