I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
