the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My dick has a subreddit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
