She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
