from now on my penis is your penis
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize