Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm really into asian looking animals
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
