I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
