Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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