Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
