well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
