Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
