I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
they're like a gay fantastic four
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
