Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
