Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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