I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I need to stop coming to work sober
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize