it wasn't lemon gatorade
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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