What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
