I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
