Duck Duck Cougar?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
