Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
