great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
