if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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