just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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