My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize