hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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