Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
