did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
