Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
