Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize