I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize