i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just high enough for therapy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
