Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
