she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
